Monday, February 3, 2014

Simon Sayings

Let's face it. It's about time to have a post about the wonderful things Simon says to us. So... here is a sampling of some of the comments he has made that I've written down, snippets of conversations, etc.  Enjoy!

"I love Hawaii so much. I want to stay here for a bit."

Jamund, referring to a leaf blower man: "That guy's like 'I'm in the road!'"
Simon, referring to a baby: "That guy's like, 'I'm in the stroller!'"

Me: "I'm thankful that daddy is normal."
Simon: "No, you're thankful for apples."

"You can be a motorcycle for Halloween, I'll be a van. And Daddy can be the road we drive on. And Ellie can be a flower."

"Do you want to be a mountain for Halloween?"
"No, I want to be a car for Thanksgiving."

"I was an apple pie."
"Oh? How was that?"
"Oh, I guess it was 'A B C D E F G...'"

Me: "You're something else!"
"Yeah, I'm a mountain. A snow capped peak."

Me: "What are you eating, Ellie? Spit it out."
Simon: "She's eating a butterfly."

"Will I turn into death if I get cold?"

Discussing "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.": "I'm telling you the facts, not the reasons."...  "I thought a tiger was in the movie."

"I'm lucky to have a big papa like this: big big big BIG BIG papa!"

"Pretend it's nighttime. (about 5 seconds pass) Okay, I'm done. So you want me to read a story to you? Which story do you want? A Christmas one? This one?" (turns the pages, then says "All done!" and then looks at me quizzically when I tell him he didn't read it to me)

Reprimanding me as I'm texting Jamund during pretend nap time: "I tell you to sleep! You look at your phone when you're done sleeping!"

"This is Howl's moving castle. I made it." (pats his blanket, which is in a pile on his bed.)

"Ellie's old now. Let's get a baby sister. Let's throw Ellie away because she's old now."

"Hey, I need some milk, man!"

"I promise you to death, Mommy."
"What does that mean?!"
"It means to dive. Dive into some water. It means to die on the cross too."

"There's a toenail on my toe right here. I want to saw it off."

Simon getting on underwear and putting on his pants (excuse the mention of a private body part): "Percy, king of the railway! Where's my penis? ...Bees, bees, bees... My pants are getting tighter, Mommy!" (Hits my stomach and then falls to the floor)

"Mom, you're a FedEx truck."

"I'm a crab. I'm a snapper." (makes snappy finger motions.)

"You're a daffodil, mama"
"Oh, why?"
"You're a bad guy."
"You're a bad guy, mama!"

"Here's a booger."
"Put it on your bottle." (me not wanting to get up since we are cuddling and reading a story)
"No, that's dirty.... (thinking) Put it on Ellie's shirt."

"I'm not your son. I'm your boy."

"Where's the horse head!? Where's the horse head? Is it outside the door? I want the fish head. I want the horse head. Mama, where is the horse head?!" (referring, I hope, to emoticons on my phone)

Me to Simon: "How's it going?"
"A dog bite. A dog bite. Don't get any closer to the water. It's on the carpet. I'm going to go fishing to catch some fish."

Me to Simon: "You need to treat your sister with respect. Do you know what respect means?"
"Be handsome, and evil, and good."

We love that little man.

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